Posted in Random Musings
Frakking Stomach
If you are a regular reader of my blog you know how much I have struggled with my weight. The main problem I have is I like to eat but have a body which has completely rebelled against me. Herniated discs in my back were the first problem. Now I have a constant fight with migraines when I exercise. When I exercise regularly and hard I am quite fit. I like exercising. It is good “me” time. I think about writing and work out the stress.
I have had a very hard time adjusting my eating to fit the amount of exercise I can do before my body kicks my ass. Over the last month I have found a nice comfort zone on exercise. I have started jogging and bike riding occasionally. I kick my elliptical’s ass on a regular basis (I have been averaging about 600 calories burned a day on it). I have slowly started cutting the junk food out but it doesn’t change how hard it is to eat less.
I like eating. I know part of the reason I like eating is it is the way I learned to cope with my stress as a child. I have done a lot better but the grind wears me out sometimes. I have fallen off the exercise bus a lot the last two years and still haven’t reached the goal I set for myself. It has left me a little discouraged.
The biggest problem I am having right now is my waist line. I am incredibly fit. I have good stamina and exercise forever. My legs are rock solid right now. My arms look great. My frakking stomach is being totally uncooperative. It pisses me off. I have a lot of shirts I have been waiting to fit into and I am close. I just can’t get over this last hump. I put one of the shirts on Saturday and felt like crying. There was the pooch staring back at me.
I am not obese. I am probably not even overweight right now (I refuse to get on a scale anymore. This is all about waist size). All I want to do is fit into the medium t-shirts sitting in my drawer missing me. I can put them on and if I suck it up they even fit. Walking around all day at Comic-Con trying to hold in my stomach will not work (Comic-Con was the deadline for my goal). I am trying to stay positive. Trying to eat better. Wishing it was a whole lot easier.
I am not going to lie and say part of this isn’t about looking my best. I like when I look fit. It isn’t the only thing it is about though. I need to be healthy. Men in my family have not lived as long as they should have. I do not wish to be part of that alarming trend. I have worked too hard to get where I am. I want to have a long enjoyable life with my wife, family, and friends. I guess the good news is I haven’t missed a day of exercise in a while. I have found my comfort zone. Now I need to zap the damn stomach.
