Letters of Mass Construction

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I Suck At Failing

I was evaluated at work today and somehow managed to stay employed. It is a minor mystery to me. I tell myself that this is the year that I will finally get fired and get to collect unemployment. This year I was really thinking about that unemployment thing. I could collect for awhile and then turn my wife into my sugar mama like I mentioned in an earlier blog.

I have been teaching for 16 years and have never been evaluated by the same principal twice. I have an amazing collection of evaluations by principals that are distant memories in my school district. I wonder if I can sell them, surely they are collector’s items. I have a new principal AGAIN this year. I don’t know what it is about principals but they never seem to hang around long. Maybe I am scaring them away. I like my new principal, which means she is probably doomed.

I wasn’t going to let my liking of my new principal get in the way of my dastardly plan to collect money without actually working. I was prepared to give the worst lesson in the history of the teaching universe. Then that stupid ego of mine reared its ugly head. I just can’t stand not being the best at anything I do. My plan lasted 10 seconds and then I knocked out a great lesson. Hence, the lack of firing going on today. Really, is it so hard? I can teach great the rest of the year I just had to fail today. I suck at failing. Luckily this is going to come in handy with my novel writing. Oh well, back to convincing the wife she should support me, I will have to give the super sweet smile the next time I ask. I suspect a “Sugar Mama” fail is in my near future.

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One Response to “I Suck At Failing”

  1. zoecello says:

    >Wow, that's a heck of a lot of principals! Yup, you should keep those letters. I think there is a story there.But Chris, I'm sorry to break it to you, but I don't think you're going be fired any time soon. Something tells me that you suck at being a bad teacher 😉

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