Letters of Mass Construction

Twitter Crash (It was Wil Wheaton’s Fault)



Today Twitter went down for a very long time. Shockingly the world did not come to an end. To the utter amazement of all, the world economy had a 10% bump as people actually did their jobs.

In an alarming display of callousness people decided to go outside and step away from their keyboards. How could they abandon Twitter in its time of need? Not all people were that callous, they stayed in front of the warm glow of the computer hitting the refresh button on their web browsers. Waiting for the inviting ting of a Tweetdeck update.

People forced to actually talk out loud began to carry calculators in an attempt to keep a running total of their character count. A petition began to circulate on the internet to force Twitter to count all communication while they were down as actual tweets in their update total, a blatant attempt to inflate their importance.

Paramedics were called to actress Felicia Day’s house when friends found her muttering, “I crashed Twitter, I crashed Twitter.” It was, however, proven that actor Will Wheaton was the cause of the crash when he forgot to sacrifice a baby chick to the Twitter Gods.

In other news, hospitals brace for the inevitable baby boom.

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One Response to “Twitter Crash (It was Wil Wheaton’s Fault)”

  1. maw says:

    >It seems so obvious now. Hopefully he won't forget his twitter duties again.

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